Sex

Sex (Photo credit: danielito311)

I have never had sex and I never tried to. I am neither conservative nor locked-in. I actually like the idea of sleeping with a woman and I enjoy erotic pictures. Yet it’s only in my head.

Problems arise as soon as erotic becomes real. Even seeing a simple belly-dance makes my mind collapse. A real mental earthquake shakes my mind, making me feel extremely nervous and uncomfortable. I do not object people having sex, it’s only when I have to experience it in any way that my mind and body totally block.

I am really frustrated by this phenomenon. If at least I could endure other people having sex, then my life would be easier and I wouldn’t destroy social situations that much. People in my age love sex, so my serious objection makes me stand out and others hate me for my “shyness”. If you stand in the way of your surrounding, you only get trouble. I am the one complaining about sex while the others seek it.

I wonder what the deepest cause for this mindquake is.

Now, let’s take this article.

It has a list of 5 “things you should know about sexual behaviour and aspergers syndrome”.

1. sexual relationships challenge people with asperger

“The subtle cues of dating and sexual relationships may be difficult for people with Asperger’s to navigate.”

So, if you date an Asperger, be clear about your exact intentions. Do you intend an intimate relationship? Whether yes or no, say so clearly! We Aspies are very quickly very involved and romantic about people. Therefore make it very clear if you have no further interest. The best thing you can do if you have no interest in us: don’t contact us anyway. Leave us alone. You wanted to do that anyway after the collaboration, right?

2.teens with asperger need sexual education

I would have hated this, unless it had started already in my childhood. Sex makes me enormously nervous and the hetero interaction feels ugly and wrong. I hate reading common slang describing the body.

3.adults with asperger may present the sexual behaviour of teens

“Since Asperger’s syndrome is a developmental delay, adults may experience sexual behavior similar to teens. They may be delayed in their social skills, which would manifest in their sexual relationships. These adults need to be made aware through observation or research which sexual behavior is age appropriate. Obsessive behavior is a symptom of Asperger’s and may carry over to sexual relations. Also, some medications used to treat symptoms of the syndrome may also impact sexual desire.”

4.sensory issued may impact sexuality.

“Hypersensitivity or under responsiveness are common in people with Asperger’s. This can impact their sexual behavior, either reducing the desire to be close or causing them to be overly needy of sex. When it comes to sexual behavior, they may not understand boundaries or limits.”

Some Aspies have to wear gloves or other protective clothes to reduce the sensory sensation.

Personally, I cannot say what I prefer as I have no experience.

Now comes a big point:

5.intimacy can be a struggle

“Individuals with this syndrome struggle with the back-and-forth nature of intimate relationships. Dating and courtship can be confusing, as they rely on so many subtle or hidden rules and meanings. A person with Asperger’s may find empathy a foreign emotion, causing the other partner to feel isolated and alone. With social skills training and behavior therapy, the skills necessary to achieve an intimate relationship are within reach.”

I have no clue how to find out how serious somebody is about a relationship or at what stage we are. I’d jump right into a relationship and assume my partner was seriously interested.

I wonder how I would react to being naked with somebody. I like the idea of being naked, yet me fantasies are highly idealized, with a high degree of romance and a slow tempo. With idealized I mean no wrinkles.

I prefer small breasts and I also prefer being dressed, such that the overall body form is visible through the curves of the clothes. People are more attractive when dressed as when they are naked.