“Autists live in their own world”

August Autist (Photo credit: Deede Kharisma)

Well maybe we do, yet at least we live in our world, instead of merely existing.

Now, I’m not saying that Autists are extroverts who jump around in the world. We’re not. We may be introverts. Yet our passions make us more alive than most NTs. The ratio of passionate autists is certainly way larger than the ratio of deeply passionate NTs.

 

Read:

Autism and Happiness

5 tips for a happy future

Children in their own world, parents in the dark

Why many Aspergers love videogames

Friends (Photo credit: L Lemos)

We need distance to feel proximity. Thus, we can feel better for people who are distant from us, and characters in videogames are distant. I have also noticed that I have better empathy for people displayed by drawings and pictures than for people in videos or close-by.

Distance and abstraction allow us to be close.

You may actually try to use instant messengers or email to communicate with Aspergers.

This article discusses how video games can help autists improve their social skills while they stay within their comfort zone.

This includes games written directly for autists:

one interactive computer program called FaceSay has been shown to improve the ability of kids with autism spectrum disorders to recognize faces, facial expressions, and emotions. Created by Symbionica LLC, the game teaches kids where to look for facial cues and helps them practice recognizing the expressions of an avatar, or virtual representation of a person.

Some experts deny the efficiency:

 experts question the effectiveness of these games and express concern that young Aspergers kids who are already socially awkward may become dependent on Internet social networking and virtual interaction and never apply the skills in real life.

Wendy Stone, a pediatrics professor at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital says:

What we would hope to see is that what these individuals are learning will help them understand social situations, feelings of others, their own motivation and will help them negotiate real life social situations. You don’t want them to just be able to interact via a computer.

The problem of distorted social interaction:

Aaron McGinley, summer camp program manager at Talisman, a North Carolina program offering summer camps and semester-length programs for kids ages 8 to 21 with learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, Aspergers, and high-functioning autism says:

When you have anonymity, people act in a different way than when they must take personal and immediate accountability for their words and actions

I know this from myself when I’m chatting and writing in online forums. This also applies to NTs though.

Another perk of gaming is the highly-important predictability, a crucial condition for many autists.

Aaron McGinley says further:

While social conversations in real life are highly complex and unpredictable, online gamers share a common and simple language for communicating.

For example, since most online interaction occurs through typing, there is time to think about a response, and the response can be given in symbols and phrases without regard for facial expressions or nonverbal cue

The problem: inappropriate language for real life situations, still McGinley:

Online, it may be considered acceptable or even funny to make cross remarks, curse at people, or ignore someone’s effort to make contact. But if you go to basketball practice and make fun of someone’s mom, there’s no doubt you’ll get a different response.

 

Now we come to useful advice for parents:

When it comes to video games, moms & dads of a youngster with Aspergers are faced with a dilemma: Do you limit your youngster’s time spent doing the activities that interest him most and run the risk that he will withdraw even more, or do you allow your youngster unfettered access to video games despite the obvious social repercussions?

McGinley recommends:

to find the balance between accepting their youngster’s unique interests, and encouraging their youngster to develop social skills and additional interests that might take them outside of their comfort zone.

I could foresee this answer. I wished he could give more profound advice. Still, the article says further that:

He[McGinley] also advises moms & dads to offer incentives to their youngster to balance their time spent focused on gaming and time spent doing social activities.

How to find real help in form of specialized programs:

Fortunately, there are programs across the country tailored specifically to improving social and academic functioning in kids with learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, Aspergers, and other autism spectrum disorders.

Talisman summer camps, for example, have helped countless kids ages 8 to 17 who have been diagnosed with special needs. With a highly structured daily schedule, a small staff-to-camper ratio, an emphasis on personal accountability, and plenty of fun and adventure, Talisman camps have been a first choice of families since 1980.

For families that need more long-term assistance for their special needs youngster, Talisman operates an academic semester-long program called Southeast Journeys for adolescents ages 13 to 17. Based out of Zirconia, N.C., Southeast Journeys offers students who may have struggled in more traditional environments the opportunity to excel academically and socially through hands-on experiential learning trips and a small group environment. Using insight-oriented individual and group discussions, students learn communication and problem-solving skills, budgeting, scheduling, healthy living, conflict resolution, and personal responsibility.

Finally, a  note of hope to conclude this article:

Helping your youngster with Aspergers achieve his full potential is a highly realistic and attainable goal. With the help of programs that specialize in working with kids with special needs, your youngster can grow and thrive not only in the virtual world, but also in the real world.

How does it feel to be an Autist?

I have come to this question some weeks ago when considering explaining my relatives how it feels to be an Autist.

Now I am starting to write it down. Hence this is a work-in-progress.

1. I experience myself and my entire surrounding as a dream: everything is “out of touch”. I feel like I cannot really touch anything. When people are around me, I feel like they are beyond my physical reach. Even if I grasped them firmly with my hands, they would feel distant. Thus, everything seems surreal, glimmering, like a dream.
2. I am incredibly naive, especially about what is possible and what is not. I ignore common peoples fixed mind-sets. If I want to achieve something, then I simply believe that it is possible and start trying.
3. All my interests and knowledge are limited to my mind. If I knew all about a certain place and then gave it a visit, I wouldn’t feel “there”. I cannot relate real things to things in my mind.
4. I find ridiculously simple actions totally fascinating: At the barbecue, somebody takes a steak out of the tin foil and puts it on the grill. FASCINATING. Really.
5. I strongly categorize people according to assumed social roles. The look of a person leads my judgement about her social job, i.e. the role they would have if the experienced scene was a play. The care-taker, the macho, the girlfriend, the kind child, the friendly secretary, the open-minded person, etc.  These roles are not based on the peoples jobs.
6. I have a huge fascination for the look of other people. Not whether they are beautiful or not. Just their look. Contrary to some autists, I am not face-blind. I recognize people.
7. Sometimes I cannot understand the logic behind their look. I see the elements, like ears, mounth, nose, skin, yet I am puzzled about a “back-ground logic”. Consider looking at a complicated math equation. You understand the single signs and numbers, yet you cannot grasp what the equation says.
8. I have a hard time hating anybody. As a child, I would love and forgive everybody, also those who mobbed me. I was a totally peaceful person. This has improved though during the last 4 years. I can now stay angry at somebody if I wish to.
9. I am also very spiritual, and totally atheistic.
10. I feel like I had existed forever. I do not grow older. I feel like pure energy. I experience my being as a momentary snapshot. While I register a lot of changes in myself, I still feel like nothing changes. The past is blocked in my mind. Remembering life events feels like squeezing myself through a narrow tube. I perfectly remember facts though.
11. Despite my self-confidence, I have the impression that people are constantly laughing at me.
12. I cannot show my self-confidence and always appear shy and submissive. Thus I always get treated as the “sweet little Nomi” that people find cute, sweet, and mother-dependent.