My list of Asperger symptoms

I have taken this list and filtered my own symptoms out:

poor communication:

• overformal speech: academic, strictly structured speech. The structure is always the same. As if we were using a given pattern.
• speaking without any pitch or tone: monotonous and hard to listen to across a long period of time. Plus, Aspergers tend to explain everything in detail, giving very long speeches.
• inappropriate remarks: The uttering of inappropriate comments or questions can be a serious problem. Sometimes the remarks are inappropriate to the setting. Sometimes the comments are sexually inappropriate. In any case, the remarks or questions do not take into account the impact on the other individual involved. For example, Conner was attending a funeral. Oblivious to the impact his question would have on the grieving friends and relatives, he wondered out loud about the process of bodies decomposing. In another example, Mike found himself attracted to a young woman and proceeded to stare at her. When she asked him what he wanted, he told her in sexually explicit details what he was staring at and the specific nature of his interest. source

non-verbal communication problems:

• few facial expression: inability to express one’s feelings and to adapt it to the expectations of other people. e.g. smiling at funeral. It also gives a boring look and makes us appear dumb.
• unaware of unwritten social rules: contradicting the boss, flirting at funerals, involuntary provocation.

impaired social interaction:

• Social withdrawal : Unlike the severe withdrawal from the rest of the world that is characteristic of autism, children with Asperger syndrome are isolated because of their poor social skills and narrow interests. Children with the disorder will gather enormous amounts of factual information about their favorite subject and will talk incessantly about it, but the conversation may seem like a random collection of facts or statistics, with no point or conclusion. They may approach other people, but make normal conversation difficult by eccentric behaviors or by wanting only to talk about their singular interest. source
• In my case, I feel squeezed when others are around.
• Eccentric personality: Many people with Asperger’s appear to be “nerds” or “geeks.” Kind people might call us “eccentric.” Socially, we must learn by rote what your average person picks up by instinct, such as the interpretation of facial expressions, other’s emotions, or social overtures. source
• Preoccupied with their own agenda
• Socially non-adapted personality
• limited interests: one or two
• repetitive routines and rituals: i am constantly drinking water at work.
• lack of empathy at short distance. Much empathy for fictional characters.
• for an interesting view on the real empathy in Aspies, read this article.

• extract: “When an aspie is listening/concentrating or deliberately trying to be emphatic, they achieve a level of empathy well beyond what neurotypical people experience.For example, when watching a movie, I find myself emoting with the characters to a huge degree, even when they’re CGI, Cartoons or fluffy muppets. I can’t help it. Often when I’m explaining things[…], I’ll get a lump in my throat[…].” signed

• “Aspies don’t lack empathy, we have oodles of it and not just the human kind either. If an aspie has trouble understanding your emotional state it’s probably because it’s not visible enough for them to start looking deeper.”

Not to be found on the link:

poor organization skills:

• no multi-tasking skill
• disastrous short-term memory
• fails to realize the real impact of future changes

How to survive gatherings

I have found this short article:

How to survive gatherings

Being amid large groups of people can be enormously stressful for people on the autistic spectrum.

Some steps you can take as a family to make the experience not only easier, but actually enjoyable for autists:

1. Be sure that all family members discuss what is most likely to take place on that special occasion.
2. Remember that most people on the spectrum do NOT like surprises.
3. Negotiate how long the AS person has to stay in the special environment. If the occasion is taking place at home, work out how long the person has to be with the group before they can go to their room or leave the gathering.
4. Discuss whether or not the AS person or any other family member will be expected to behave in a manner that is out of the ordinary. Some “role playing” can be a fun activity in this case.
5. Discuss what the AS person will wear.
6. Talk about how most people are likely to behave in the situation. Will there be lots of laughter…music…games? Will lots of kids be there? Will the AS person be expected to perform any duties or sing or play an instrument or a game?
7. Share why you want to or must attend this occasion.
8. If an amount of travel time over what is usual is required…or a different form of travel is involved, estimate the time and/or mode of travel and talk about things to do during that time, what to bring along to be comfortable and points of interest.
9. If the gathering or occasion is highly distressing to the AS person, carefully discuss whether or not to continue  participating in the occasion.

The most terrible experience I ever had as an Asperger

It happened about two years ago, when I still had no clue that I had Asperger. It was in the evening, just before going to bed. I was perfectly sober. I was brushing my teeth when something happening that can hardly be put into words.

I believe my identity, my I or me crashed. Shut down. Ceased existing. The phenomenon lasted only for a second, yet it was terrible beyond description.

During this 1 second, I felt void. Deprived of a mind. There was a squeezing feeling in my mind. Not physical. Mental. A brown squeezing feeling.

I was horrified and stumbled into bed. I grabbed my plush pets and forced myself to sleep. I stopped all thoughts, fearing the horror would return.

The feeling still comes back now and then, although less terrible. When it arises, I escape into scientific thinking.

If I didn’t know I was Asperger, I would be convinced that I was turning mad. Now I can blame it on Autism. I am still going to talk about it with my Psychiatrist. This is no fun. This is an extremely serious problem.

I hope this story can help somebody who goes through the same horrible mess. Get yourself help. And ignore the feeling the best you can.

I firmly recommend meditation as a short-term help. Just lay down, grab a plush pet and let your thoughts flow. Interestingly, that’s when I feel the safest. In that situation, the dark ideas stay at bay.

Fear of evaporation

Smoke (Photo credit: AMagill)

One of the most fundamental negative experiences I link with Autism is the feeling and fear of evaporating. This is not to be confused with dying. The two are completely different. Imagine yourself being a field ofe bright sunny energy, no body, only energy. Now imagine this field evaporating swiftly. Like you simply ceased to exist. Vanished into air.

That’s the fear of evaporating.

I don’t know where it comes from, I can only say it’s fundamental for me.

These articles give more information about more common fears of autistic children:

5 Irrational Fears

19 fears and how to deal with them

Mini article about gender identity issues among autists

A far more scientific article. Beware, small printed. Use CTRL+[+] to zoom in.

Why many Aspergers love videogames

Friends (Photo credit: L Lemos)

We need distance to feel proximity. Thus, we can feel better for people who are distant from us, and characters in videogames are distant. I have also noticed that I have better empathy for people displayed by drawings and pictures than for people in videos or close-by.

Distance and abstraction allow us to be close.

You may actually try to use instant messengers or email to communicate with Aspergers.

This article discusses how video games can help autists improve their social skills while they stay within their comfort zone.

This includes games written directly for autists:

one interactive computer program called FaceSay has been shown to improve the ability of kids with autism spectrum disorders to recognize faces, facial expressions, and emotions. Created by Symbionica LLC, the game teaches kids where to look for facial cues and helps them practice recognizing the expressions of an avatar, or virtual representation of a person.

Some experts deny the efficiency:

 experts question the effectiveness of these games and express concern that young Aspergers kids who are already socially awkward may become dependent on Internet social networking and virtual interaction and never apply the skills in real life.

Wendy Stone, a pediatrics professor at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital says:

What we would hope to see is that what these individuals are learning will help them understand social situations, feelings of others, their own motivation and will help them negotiate real life social situations. You don’t want them to just be able to interact via a computer.

The problem of distorted social interaction:

Aaron McGinley, summer camp program manager at Talisman, a North Carolina program offering summer camps and semester-length programs for kids ages 8 to 21 with learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, Aspergers, and high-functioning autism says:

When you have anonymity, people act in a different way than when they must take personal and immediate accountability for their words and actions

I know this from myself when I’m chatting and writing in online forums. This also applies to NTs though.

Another perk of gaming is the highly-important predictability, a crucial condition for many autists.

Aaron McGinley says further:

While social conversations in real life are highly complex and unpredictable, online gamers share a common and simple language for communicating.

For example, since most online interaction occurs through typing, there is time to think about a response, and the response can be given in symbols and phrases without regard for facial expressions or nonverbal cue

The problem: inappropriate language for real life situations, still McGinley:

Online, it may be considered acceptable or even funny to make cross remarks, curse at people, or ignore someone’s effort to make contact. But if you go to basketball practice and make fun of someone’s mom, there’s no doubt you’ll get a different response.

 

Now we come to useful advice for parents:

When it comes to video games, moms & dads of a youngster with Aspergers are faced with a dilemma: Do you limit your youngster’s time spent doing the activities that interest him most and run the risk that he will withdraw even more, or do you allow your youngster unfettered access to video games despite the obvious social repercussions?

McGinley recommends:

to find the balance between accepting their youngster’s unique interests, and encouraging their youngster to develop social skills and additional interests that might take them outside of their comfort zone.

I could foresee this answer. I wished he could give more profound advice. Still, the article says further that:

He[McGinley] also advises moms & dads to offer incentives to their youngster to balance their time spent focused on gaming and time spent doing social activities.

How to find real help in form of specialized programs:

Fortunately, there are programs across the country tailored specifically to improving social and academic functioning in kids with learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, Aspergers, and other autism spectrum disorders.

Talisman summer camps, for example, have helped countless kids ages 8 to 17 who have been diagnosed with special needs. With a highly structured daily schedule, a small staff-to-camper ratio, an emphasis on personal accountability, and plenty of fun and adventure, Talisman camps have been a first choice of families since 1980.

For families that need more long-term assistance for their special needs youngster, Talisman operates an academic semester-long program called Southeast Journeys for adolescents ages 13 to 17. Based out of Zirconia, N.C., Southeast Journeys offers students who may have struggled in more traditional environments the opportunity to excel academically and socially through hands-on experiential learning trips and a small group environment. Using insight-oriented individual and group discussions, students learn communication and problem-solving skills, budgeting, scheduling, healthy living, conflict resolution, and personal responsibility.

Finally, a  note of hope to conclude this article:

Helping your youngster with Aspergers achieve his full potential is a highly realistic and attainable goal. With the help of programs that specialize in working with kids with special needs, your youngster can grow and thrive not only in the virtual world, but also in the real world.